Before I start writing about anything else, let me follow up to the last post concerning my plea, because I had: A Revelation. And this is no joke. When I mentioned those perverse things that beckon to you that you feel you have to explore from an intellectual standpoint, as though doing so is some enriching experience–or–not, but an experience, and they aren’t exactly wholesome and not exactly what you want to do but the opposite, buddy of mine, that’s no intellectual curiosity calling you: it’s the devil tempting you, duping you, and roping you into a corner to keep you from God’s best. That hit me like a ton of bricks on Friday; it’s the devil, not your spirit of exploration. And you know how simple it is to beat him if you only let go his implanted ideas of what sophistication is.
It has truly been a miserable week for me up until yesterday. Been under the weather since last weekend, but Thursday I got what I am sure was the mother of all migraines, blinding, thumping headache that would not abate until 9PM that night, and a thirst I could not quench. I drank an entire gallon of Kentwood water Thursday because I was so thirsty, slept fitfully Friday and went into work only to take care of something quickly because I still felt so drained and sick and came home to rest. Yesterday was much, much better, although still feeling the effects and decided to just take it easy after necessary errands and rest so I could get stronger. I will be writing today–deadline for the Arounds is due tomorrow; luckily I was able to get two sections done over Christmas holidays, but three remain, and again, luckily, tomorrow is a holiday for Martin Luther King Day and I don’t have to work.
Rested yesterday reading the latest Pendergast, “The Obsidian Chamber,” en boudoir, and as the afternoon progressed, such peace came over me. I felt Mom so nearby to me that it felt like she had never died–a peaceful Saturday afternoon when she was alive. I said out loud, “Mom, if you’ve come to visit me, tap on something.” A few seconds later, I heard a tap. Nothing bad, only good, an angel sent to me who flooded me yesterday with things I needed to be reminded of. It’s made a big difference. Now, to work. Oddly enough, I have found this new format I was worried about to be very soul satisfying indeed.