Well, I’ve tried to get all the way around it but I can’t seem to get over it: I’ve had the Christmas blues for several days now. Getting into a bit of a funk. And I have to tell you something that fills me with complete surprise: the Christmas tree is depressing me. After all that work, I could just take it all down and put it away. Do you know, the first Christmas after my mother died, I decided to buy the prettiest Frasier Fir, a real one. Brought it home, put it in the living room with the intent to decorate it that weekend, a few days away. Each time I looked at that tree, I sank into an abyss of depression to the point it nearly immobilized me. I began to hate the sight of it so much, and it really was a beautiful tree. As the weekend approached, I couldn’t lift a finger to get the ornaments and decorations from the attic. Finally at some point I stopped warring with the face that I love Christmas trees and this one was nearly killing me and decided it was time to get rid of it. I asked Bridget and Ron, who had two small children, that if they hand’t gotten their tree yet, they would do me a huge favor by letting me give them mine. I explained why, and they agreed. I then decided I was going to rearrange the living room furniture because there were so many memories of the miserable year before imprinted everywhere. I was nearly strangling. So, that Friday night, I came home from work in the days I actually had energy, cleaned the first floor, and rearranged everything. I turned it into a cozy little sitting room, the sofa facing the huge window that overlooked the back yard and a beautiful oak tree there. Instead of a Christmas tree, I place red poinsettias all around the room and Christmas candles, and when Ron came that evening with his adorable little son, and took the tree, it was like a ton of bricks had been lifted from me. The room had changed from a sad reminder into something cozier and cheery and the dreadful depression left me–crazy–all because of a tree.
Now, I’ve suffered no huge loss this year, actually, it’s been a good year, but here I am experiencing almost the same depression at the sight of a Christmas tree. One that I have really loved. So, what should I do?