Well, I’ve tried to get all the way around it but I can’t seem to get over it:  I’ve had the Christmas blues for several days now.  Getting into a bit of a funk.  And I  have to tell you something that fills me with complete surprise:  the Christmas tree is depressing me.  After all that work, I could just take it all down and put it away.  Do you know, the first Christmas after my mother died, I decided to buy the prettiest Frasier Fir, a real one.  Brought it home, put it in the living room with the intent to decorate it that weekend, a few days away.  Each time I looked at that tree, I sank into an abyss of depression to the point it nearly immobilized me.  I began to hate the sight of it so much, and it really was a beautiful tree. As the weekend approached, I couldn’t lift a finger to get the ornaments and decorations from the attic.  Finally at some point I stopped warring with the face that I love Christmas trees and this one was nearly killing me and decided it was time to get rid of it.  I asked Bridget and Ron, who had two small children, that if they hand’t gotten their tree yet, they would do me a huge favor by letting me give them mine.  I explained why, and they agreed.  I then decided I was going to rearrange the living room furniture because there were so many memories of the miserable year before imprinted everywhere.  I was nearly strangling.  So, that Friday night, I came home from work in the days I actually had energy, cleaned the first floor, and rearranged everything.  I turned it into a cozy little sitting room, the sofa facing the huge window that overlooked the back yard and a beautiful oak tree there.  Instead of a Christmas tree, I place red poinsettias all around the room and Christmas candles, and when Ron came that evening with his adorable little son, and took the tree, it was like a ton of bricks had been lifted from me.  The room had changed from a sad reminder into something cozier and cheery and the dreadful depression left me–crazy–all because of a tree.

Now, I’ve suffered no huge loss this year, actually, it’s been a good year, but here I am experiencing almost the same depression at the sight of a Christmas tree.  One that I have really loved.  So, what should I do?

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