My dear, I cannot exonerate you.  Because.  You’ve used someone I’m truly beginning to pity if I didn’t have so much contempt for, unless, as Margaret Mitchell said, the two go hand in hand.  You’ve used her to fulfill your own selfish fantasy, and you know whence I speak.  You’ve used her to prove to the world that you arent’ the irresponsible antiChrist your behavior would have indicted  you to be; you’ve used her to prove that you love, love, love her, when you don’t, don’t , don’t.  It is your vanity, your wanting to save face, this ridiculous choreography where you’ve wasted your adult life living out something your soul never really wanted.  If you were trying to tell someone, F you, my dear, you are the one who as f’d themself most of all.